i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
