I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
