I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
