bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
