Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
