just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
