just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
