Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jcoastie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

Fav 12 858 4844
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her

Fav 74 9307 1331
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

Fav 8 1661 3842
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

Fav 5 5665 1309
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

Fav 7 2400 1009
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

Fav 1 1876 1002
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.

Fav 7 1654 785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.

Fav 3 735 255
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”

(985): View more from Louisiana

I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP

(318): View more from Louisiana

First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!

Fav 0 70 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT