Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
