I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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