As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
