Having a random hookup so left but love u
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
