i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
