at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
