Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
