so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Terrible idea I love it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
