I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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