my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
