I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize