yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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