If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
