Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
