you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
