what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
