I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
