it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
