I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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