I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
