one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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