I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize