oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
