There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
