is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
