Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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