if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
