Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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