Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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