he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
