Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
