Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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