I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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