Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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