He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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