good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
