I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
