why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
