there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize