Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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