Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
