Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
