Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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