just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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