The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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