ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They took my balls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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