Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
