Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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