just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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