Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
