Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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