Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
