he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
