Me too!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
