so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
