Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
