So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
