My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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