the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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