just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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