I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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