To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
