It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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