Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
