Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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