This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
