Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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