we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
then he tried to convert me to islam
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
